


Claws, Clowns and Crime

by Faygot



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternia-Focused, Fan Characters, Fantrolls, Moirails, Other, Teal blood, Troll Justice, Trollsonas, olive blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-14 09:39:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16910538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faygot/pseuds/Faygot
Summary: In a world that doesn't make sense, why do all of these trolls find friendships and quadrants that work extremely well?





	1. Chapter 1

"See ya, Steven, it was a good week" Alekzi laughs leaning on the counter waiting for the teal blood to hand over all of her piercings and other things she was thrown into jail with, running a hand through her hair with a grin. She was told earlier that night that she was getting let out of the boring slime covered jail cell that she had just spent the better part of a week within, waiting for someone to come bail her ass out or for a new legislator to pick up her case after her last one killed themselves.

The teal blood threw a clear bag full of large hoops of different sizes and thicknesses on the counter, making a loud thud on the dark surface before her deep olive scarf lands on top of it "TruST me, I won'T miss you.  The amount of ShiT you made me fill in paperwork for" he complains as he sits back down on his chair as he opens a folder and makes sure he has stamped it "now get out of here So we don'T find SomeThing elSe To arrest you for". 

Alekzi sights sliding on a few of the of the large chunky hoops onto her horn, quickly decorating her large unbroken horn before quickly sticking hoops back through her ears and into her face "You know this would be a lot easier with a mirror" she sighs grabbing her scarf and wrapping it around her neck and lower face as she glared at the spikey horned loser who buzzed the main door open before she steps out onto the streets.

The olive blood looks around bored trying to work out what to do before she decided to head on foot through the main olive district to get to her own hive. The night was quiet due to being let out shortly after sundown, she had an entire night at her will and she was high key tempted to do some good old-fashioned crime, but her legislator told her to at least give it a day so she thought she would give this new guy a chance to file the paperwork before she got arrested again. Walking along the olive filled streets she had a small skip in her step as she saw some other olives give her a weird look due to the olive paint on her face, being a clown sympathiser let her get away with wearing paint in public but it did scare a few of the lower blooded and younger trolls, which probably didn't help with her tall stature making her seem like a high blood in disguise.

She slides onto a side street out of the main area heading towards the mountains and hills on the side of the district, humming along to one of clown circus' latest tracks, she couldn't remember who's track it was so she just hummed along dancing along to the good ol' clown beat as she walked past her neighbours hives, a few of them giving her a few glares which meant they were genuinely surprised she didn't get executed this time. They never did kill her, never had enough evidence to do so, so she just kept getting to go free, with a lot of complaints from everyone she stole from, or attacked, or killed... she did a lot of crime in her sweeps, be it paid, because she wanted to do it, or because someone just pissed her off and she wanted to pay back whoever fucked her over in whatever way she felt like ruining their life for a few days.

"OW! FUCKING SHIT!" A voice yells from one of the bushed outside of her hive as she turns up her pathway to her hive door, which instantly made the clownette to pull out a knife from her pocket quickly as she looks at the bush threateningly as she pushed it about with one of her hands.

"Who are you and why the fuck are you in my landscaping?" the olive blood threatens as she moves all of the branches of the bush around as she tries to find whoever is hiding in there as after spending a week in a cell will make you very sceptic of what is going on around your hive.

"Whoah! Don't stab please, I thought nobody lived here" A scared troll holds up his hands defensively as she sees a little rust blood hiding in there with nothing but a guitar, having it on his lap almost like it would protect him from a thorough stabbing, especially with her trusty clown knife, sharp enough to skin a stubborn lusus.

Alekzi grabs the collar of the rust bloods shirt and pulls him out of the greenery with some force which was not very surprising for a troll of her size "Well some troll very clearly lives in this hive, so tell me what you want or I am gonna get some of my buddies, to come here and take you to the church, just to make sure you are never seen leaving" she growls as the rust blood scurries onto his feet and lifts his guitar to his chest. She looks over the rustblood gesturing up and down his body with an eyebrow raised "Who are you and to ask again, what were you doing in my landscaping?" She asks glaring at the low blood.

The rusty that she had pulled out of her shrubbery was wearing a bunch of stupid cool troll clothing, a snapback baseball cap that had its sides cut to not stop his horns growing as they cut almost straight up out of his forehead, which didn't help his hair as it was a style with shaves sides so it looked like his hair only grew between his horns, but with this smaller troll being covered in piercings it helped her relax around him and hopefully it helped the other way too. The troll wore a normal looking shirt with his sign like most trolls under a black and white letterman's jacket, looked like they were trying to keep their caste kinda secretive as they were on the run and looking for a place to stay, unless they were wearing someone else's shirt what would have been a stupid idea seeing as it is such a low caste.

Mr Low blood stuttered a few times as he fixed his hat before he managed to start successfully speaking "My name is Mateue Ghibeh, and I found this area when I was running away when my neighbourhood got culled" He tries to explain as Alekzi lowers her knife, putting it back into her pocket as she pulls her scarf down from her mouth watching him "I didn't know if anyone was living here but if you want I will go find somewhere else to shack up" Mateue explains as he tries to step around the olive-blood to try and get onto the main road.

"You got a quad mate you can live with or something Mateue?" She asks relaxing slightly as she pulls her scarf down from her face, revealing her bull ring piercing and more of her paint, it was meant to be a sign of peace but it never came across with it.

He rubs the back of his neck as he mumbles something about not being good around other trolls and not making many friends outwith his own caste holding his guitar closer his chest, he looked like he was getting eaten alive by her eyes as she grabs his arm, leading him up the path to her hive casually.

"You can live with me then, I don't use most of the space in my hive so you won't get in my way" Alezki explains opening the door, a loud hiss being heard from the darkness inside as the door is pushed open, revealing an almost squashed down looking lizard ready to attack the door. 

The large creature was a long lizard type animal, but having a wider and an almost more squashed down body, having a wider body covered in grey stripes and dots. The creature didn't have any eyes so was sniffing at both of the trolls, letting out a growl as the smell the low blooded male standing behind the braver troll.

The female rolls her eyes "Its just my Lusus. And he really should calm the fuck down." she sighs looking back at the low blood before she pushes the large lizard to the side with her foot as she pulls the rust blood into her hive. 

It was a large cavern like home, having a long open space with ladders up and down between hexagonal chambers, the ones not touching the ground full of throw pillows and technology both working and fixed scattered everywhere. There were three recrupracoons that could be seen from the entrance, one taking up half of one of the floor level chambers, the other half being a kitchen of sorts with a pile of clean eating utensils next to the sink, and the doorless cupboards filled with food and boxes.

"Oh shit Saladad cleaned up" the olive blood smiles pulling off her scarf and throwing it onto a pile next to the door instantly grabbing onto a ladder and pulling herself up to where a husktop is lying open next to a window, moving surprisingly quickly for a troll of her bulk and due to how slowly she moved when leading the rustblood.

Mateue looks around stepping into one of the chambers looking at the large window showing a steep valley with both sides he could see. From his current standing position he couldn't see what hives were like on this end, but on the other was very square and details hives sticking out of the slope, the view is very geometric in their design layering squares on top of each other before moving onto the next hive and doing a similar style.

Mateue smiles to him looking up at the midnight moons as he mutters out "Wow you olive bloods live in a really swanky area to be so close to the teal", he grabs a large pillow to sit down on as he leaned against the wall running his hands over his guitar gently.

The female voice responds with a sight, from the sound of the location he is just in the chamber below her "Nope just me, most other olives find me weird, so I just stick to myself most of the time out here in the outskirts." the tone of voice making like she is speaking harshly about herself, as if she wouldn't stop anyone saying that with her there.

Speaks up to her leaning against the window "I don't think you are weird, you are the only olive blood who offered to help me", their voice was soft and calming, leaning into the protruding class dome as he tried to comfort her.

"Everyone is a possible friend, it is just that others like talking smack about me before I get a chance to meet them, who wants to befriend the clown loving olive blood who spent half of the last sweep in and out of jail" She mutters shooting herself down, lying down in a pile of cushions.

"Hey, Alekzi?"

"Yeah?"

"You seem to be a good person, I am pretty sure they are just being mean because they hate themselves" Mateue mumbles letting his body sink down to the floor.

"Good because I hate them"


	2. Lawyers and lame-asses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alekzi goes about her daily business and ends up finding her new lawyer

"Listen dude, yes I caused a fire, but it wasn't my fault"

 

\--one day earlier--

 

Mateue sighs lying back in his beanbag as Alekzi folded her scarf to work as a bandanna "Do you seriously steal and sell stuff for money?" the male asks raising an eyebrow, strumming his fingers across his guitar casually.

The rust-blood had gotten comfortable lying about and living in the olive bloods hive within the last perigee, as he had no where else to go and the female troll, including her lusus, had quickly became his friends, Alekzi may have been bordering on a quadrant before this conversation had started. He had asked how Alekzi got all her money and cool stuff to keep within the hive and was very much regretting that.

"Well yeah, I rob from the rich and poor... and sell to the rich for the poor. Also known as me" Alekzi laughed pulling her bandanna over her mouth before continuing her explanation, tucking the fabric with her sign on it under the collar of her shirt, making sure it wasn't visible as she moved slightly to make sure it wouldn't slide out as she moved "Well it really started to get by as I was kicked out my old hive in a routine culling, and I stole this place from a stray lusus. And then I just started stealing to furnish this place.... and now its my job", she explains casually pulling out her palm-husk and checking the details of the job she was given today. It had taken a while for her to get a new job as most of her regular contacts had to find her new contact details through her favorite encryption service, emojis.

"Wait so this place was obtained by dirty actions?" He raises his voice in shock as he sits up, Alekzi almost dropping her phone in shock at his sudden movement, glancing up from her husk to nod at him. He lay back running a hand through his hair "Good thing I got no where else to go or I would have some serious complaints about that" He jokes before looking out of a window, watching the moons rise over the valley, watching lights switch and off as trolls went to their jobs.

"Damn right little dude-" she genuinely had no right calling him that, she was barely half a foot taller than him "Want any rich troll snacks while I am doing some free shopping? I can get the high-blood drinks for you~" her voice hums as she took her hoops off and handed them to him. His face was quickly filled with confusion before she pats his head, tapping his hat down over his head "Its for bail money, just in case I get caught. You will get my only phone call, go to the nearest pawn shop, ask for Marcel and he will know what the money is for" she opens the door to her hive, making sure the sun was still setting before waving at him, slamming the door shut and running around the back of her hive.

She jumped and set a wide stance, starting to slide down the steep slope of the valley, the muddy slope helping her reach the bottom of the valley easily before she starts running across the flat bottom. She had made this run over to the teal-blood district many times for business but this one was no different. Quickly grabbing onto some exposed scaffolding from an abandoned watch tower, not caring much as her hands got scratched and cut on the rusting metal, wincing as she pulls herself up onto the floor of the tower.

"Fuck I new I forgot something" she curses herself out, watching her hands bleed slight olive, before reaching into a pile of fabric and pulling out a pair of leather gloves, she is always prepared for making stupid mistakes like this, she also had a bunch of spare scarfs and clothes in case her own ripped on her way too and back from a job. She never knew what she might need to be prepared for in her line of work.

 Getting up quickly she fixed her bandanna in the reflection of an old metal panel and left the watch tower, seeing the hive she was going for, and after doing a quick calculation she realized she could possibly jump over and land on the roof. Taking a few steps back she took the calculated risk....

**CRASH!**

 But damn was she bad at math.

 She had made it over onto the other roof but she didn't see the glass window on the roof, due to her jumping force she fell down through the roof and into the hive, landing in a glorious heap of glass and a dazed lusus. Getting up she realizes that her falling had knocked out the large canine lusus she was very grateful as that had saved her a job to do before she started raiding the place for valuables.

 Picking glass out of her trousers she pulled a large bag out her back pocket and quickly went to the main room, throwing valuable trinkets and merchandise into the back knowing she could make a tidy profit, but she was looking out for something specific. Something valuable to one of her high-blooded friends who made a mistake with a teal... and she was trying to find the study in such a weirdly laid out hive. A bathroom was right off of the kitchen and the main room, who the hell needs this many bathrooms? Or maybe they did their work on the toilet, who knows nowadays?

As she entered the kitchen she opened their fridge and started pulling out cans of tab and conk, throwing them into the bag so she could stock up her own fridge, she then started raiding the cupboards and drawers for any big name branded foods, knowing that they were actually pretty tasty as well as decently priced on the low blood black market. She noticed a candle that was still lit in front of a window, damn that was pretty stupid, especially near their paperwork.

Thinking about the candle, she realized she should probably put it out so they don't accidentally catch on fire... Nah.

 She entered the study and took a minute to politely question why on earth it was such a big study, especially when all the other rooms are so small but she sees what she is here for. On a high shelf, in the middle bookcase was an engraved juggling pin, covered in rust blood and it make her shiver slightly. She had gained an attachment to that specific caste recently and didn't like the thought of someone injuring them for no reason.

Quickly crossing the room she grabbed the pin and shoved it into her bag before trying to think of the smartest way out... The main door would be pretty obvious, and she didn't want to climb over a lusus to get through the window she fell through, but damage was already done. So shes just gonna slide over to the large library window and...

CRASH!

Who can prove what window was broken first? Who can say if she broke both windows anyway? With this in mind she just youth rolls out the window in a quick movement, letting out a hiss as she gets through the window, her shirt cutting on the glass before she continues rolling down the hill, holding her bag to her chest as she rolled so she didn't break or let anything free as she traveled back down the slope, landing on the flat bottom before opening her eyes in slight fear as she sees the lights from the hive she just exited light up, she is totally screwed if she doesn't get back to her hive fast.

 

.

 

"ALEKZI WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BLEEDING?" Was the first words out of Mateue's mouth as the olive blood runs in and slams the hive door shut, locking it in a swift movement as she slid down the back of the door, the bag being gently thrown to the side as she took deep breaths. Looking down she saw a large tear in the side of her shirt, the gray skin revealed is covered in a mix of wet and dry olive blood.

She shrugged looking up at him holding onto the open wound "Must have cut myself open climbing through one of the windows I broke" her voice sounded calm yet raspy voice, but she smiles slightly as she sees the rust blood silently freaking out, not knowing what on earth to do as she bled out, quickly reaching up and pulling off her bandanna and shirt, not caring as she walked about in her underwear looking for her first aid kit, a hand on her side, pressing on the wound.

Pulling the first aid kit down from on top of her refrigerator, gesturing to her side "Put pressure on that while I get the stuff I need out of here" as the low blood stood there in a mix of awkward fear "Just get over here and do it, don't be a nooksniffer" she complains before he steps over awkwardly putting his hands on the wound just above her hip.

Mateue blushes looking away as the olive washes her hands quickly before grabbing some bandages and padding for the injury, he takes a deep breath "I am so sorry, I just feel uncomfortable touching you like this when you are y'know have naked" he mumbles as she gestures him to move his hands so she can dress the wound, her hands doing it easily as if she had done it a million times before.

"You are so awkward, y'know that Mat?" she looking up at him from under her eyebrows as she starts taping down the bad that is meant to stop the bleeding, the medical tape pulling the would shut under the padding before she hears knocking on the door, her eyes widening in fear. She hisses out "Dim the lights and shut the fuck up" she grabs a new shirt from the floor and pulls it on as the lights and turned off swiftly. She winces pulling him down onto the floor so no one can see them before she hears her lusus out front. Being able to hear hissing and spitting through the door she realized she is going to have to leave her hive.

"OI ASSWANKS LEAVE MY LUSUS ALONE" She shouts at the two teal bloods holding blades to the large white salamander, she pulls a knife out from next to her door ready to fight, even though her left side was out of commission, before she froze, realizing that these two idiots were wearing work clothes, and a drone was behind them. All of their eyes on her, dropping her knife and just holding her hands up, her lusus running back into her hive before she is swiftly grabbed by the drone and carried gog knows where.

-A night of sleeping in a cold jail cell with no chance of bail and hearing yelling from outside of her cell-

"You broke two windows, stole thousands of boon worth of items, and started a fire that burnt down half of a hive" A tired looking troll reads over the paperwork as Alekzi sat on a purple chair with her hands bound together, her feet up on the edge of his well organised desk. He sighed sipping his coffee "How did you even accidentally start a fire? Like its not even something I can even fathom", the tired troll is typing something up on his husktop before looking at her again.

Alekzi grins knowing this guy probably wouldn't even last long with all the stuff she does on a weekly basis "Listen here... Xarxus right? You seem new to my handiwork, I do a lot of crime, most on purpose, a lot of the major felonies were and are actually accidents. So good luck and I hope you don't off yourself like the last guy, I miss him." she sighs fondly thinking before the teal blood on the other side of the desk stands up angrily.

Walking around the desk she gets to see what the troll really dressed like, he wore a plain white shirt with a black hoodie underneath, which seemed to be to much effort to pull onto both of his shoulders. His horns stuck out like bull horns in front of his head like he would stab someone who got to close to him with his face. Dark teal bags under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in the last perigee and a scowl on his face that could turn milk sour.

 "Listen here you olive bitch" He starts and Alekzi leans back waiting for a decent rant, its been a while since she was yelled at so passionately "I Have spent the last perigee deciphering some sort of code for your texting, to finish all the paperwork fucking Rhonye left when he offed himself, so how about you get off your high horse and realize that some teal bloods actually care about all the work they are stuck with, and I got stuck with the most annoying clown loving bitch in the entire mid caste" He barely raised his voice or changed his facial expression but his demeanor changed significantly as he started his pocket rant.

Alekzi took her boots down from his desk "Listen, you aren't the first legislator to try and work on my case, but I am an outcast and blah blah blah, generic sob story, modern day Robbin Whoewd, just cause, ecetera" she gestures vaguely, the white paint on her face had faded in the last day but her clown marking still stood proudly on her face.

 Xarxus sat back on his table just filling his cup back up with coffee before gesturing for her to lean forward as he pulled out the keys, he unlocked her cuffs before gesturing for her to leave "On you go, you know the way out, just don't do crime for at least another week so I can finish the paperwork from yesternights fuck up", he sighs as she gets up ready to leave without another word before she sticks her head back in his door.

It takes a moment before she speaks up "Hey Xarxus?"

"Yes?"

"You say it like it is, I hope you stick about you funky little teal" she smiles before ducking out finally, not knowing that when she left there was the smallest smidge of a smile on the teal bloods face.


End file.
